So, I'm scrolling through the YouTube home page in late July looking for something fun to watch while I ate dinner that day. Something unusual catches my eye, a recommended video with a relatively interesting look to it. It's a video by a man named Colby Ferrin, and it has the words "diss track" in the title. That immediately peaks my interest, because I love a good rap beef. So, naturally, I dug a little deeper into Colby, as I hadn't heard of him until the video popped up in my feed. Colby is a Mormon rapper from Utah, and his songs/videos (keeping in mind that I haven't watched all of them as of the time of writing this) have very positive, spiritual vibes to them. I like that, it's a good feeling. Generally speaking, Colby is a good artist (and he seems like a good person on top of it). Going back to the video that YouTube is pushing onto me, the person Colby's dissing is a man by the of Unkle Adams. Now, that is a name I've heard of. Albeit, it's mostly from Anthony Fantano and Chris Ray Gun making memes out of his "Original" song, but I do know about the infamous Unkle Adams. I've heard a couple of his songs, they're pretty enjoyable. I'm not a staunch fan, I'm definitely more of a casual viewer. I wasn't caught up on the Unkle Adams lore as of the time Colby's diss track dropped. Since the release of Colby's diss, however, both him and Unk have made videos talking at length about the beef between the two, which is very good for people like me that didn't know anything about the situation. Colby's is a livestream titled "Let's Talk About Unk", and Unk's is an episode of his At Least a Million series that was called "Colby the Ferret". You can watch Colby's here, and you can watch Unk's here. I highly recommend you watch them both before you read this, especially if you aren't caught up on what went down between them. As of the time of writing this, there have been two songs between them. Colby initiated the rap portion of this beef on July 30th, and Unk responded on August 10th. Almost two weeks later. If any more diss tracks drop, I will edit this blog to put them in, but I doubt that Unk will make a follow-up. He seems pretty adamant that he destroyed Colby. At most, this could be another Mac Lethal vs Tom MacDonald situation. So, yeah. Let's get into this, I'll throw my hat into the ring and give my thoughts on who won between Colby Ferrin and Unkle Adams.
Round 1 - "Emperor Penguin"
This was my first time hearing a song from Colby, so keep that in mind as we review it. First off, the beat is fire. The kicks and the hihats blend together wonderfully, and the (what I can assume is a) synth part that provides the melody sounds really cool. The video itself is shot very well, too. The coupling of the lighting and the way the camera rotates around Colby's chair gives the video a very ominous feeling. It feels like something bad's about to happen. The fact that it's all one take deserves commendation, as well. The production here was insane, major props to Matty Sievers for that. Colby shouted him out in the live chat replay from the day the video premiered onto YouTube, so now I'm making his name known here. Matty, you really killed the production for this diss. Colby's voice is very appealing, and the vocals to beat ratio in the mix was perfect. The lyrics are very well-written, too. I loved that Colby spun lyrics from a couple of Unk's songs against him (i.e. taking "Every word of this is true" from the Spyte diss track, and taking the "stole your fans/robbery" bit from "Original"). The way he incorporated OriginalPosting jargon into a few of his bars was nice, made for some pretty enjoyable wordplay. My favorite lines are "If you rapped at Tim Horton's, all they'd hear's a 'who?'" and "Now we don't know if Hannah May get a wedding ring". Colby really impressed me with the way he was able to play with words, his lyrical style in this gives off some serious NF or Crypt vibes (to me, at least). The most appealing thing about "Emperor Penguin", to me, is the approach. Typically, given the usual nature of a diss track, you'd expect the rapper to come on and start going crazy on the mic. They get petty, start throwing personal attacks, and, often times, they get loud. That's the way Eminem does it, that's how Mac Lethal used to do it in the battle rap days, that's how Unkle Adams did it when he dissed Spyte. But Colby takes a different approach to his diss. He sounds calm throughout the whole thing, like he's sitting Unk down and explaining to him that he's in the wrong as opposed to instantly coming at his life. This laid back approach is a much appreciated breath of fresh air. I enjoyed it when Tom MacDonald dropped "Lethal Injection", and I enjoy it even more with this song (cause of the better lyrics). He doesn't shout, he doesn't swear, he doesn't get angry. He just talks to Unk, man to man. It's as if Colby's playing the role of a disappointed friend, and the way the last line ties into the title of the song was the perfect culmination of it all. Side note, Unk: "Penguin" is a pretty odd way of addressing your detractors. But, anyway, the setup was there and the punchline was solid. The line about "taking ALAM to the slaughter" was fire, the Allsup reference was great, I liked the Demi Lardner joke, the reference to Unk's father was sick, the "He went to Jared" bit was funny. There's a semi-long sequence of "Go do this instead" bars in the middle and, I'll admit, it went on a little too long, but it was packed with a bunch of solid punches to make up for the length. Fundamentally speaking, this is one of the better diss tracks out there. Colby's flow is nice, the lyrics are solid, I loved the way he showed his face to the camera at the end, the fact that he's wearing the hat Unk gave him is nice. If I had to give any criticisms, I'd say that the parts of the beat where the hihats are constant as opposed to rhythmic are a little much for my ears, and the lack of an audible backup vocal is a tad disappointing. Other than those admittedly minute things, this was a great track. 9/10. I am impressed, Colby.
Round 2 - "The Extermination"
Almost two weeks later, Unk (who, keep in mind, is a self-proclaimed former battle rapper) finally responds to Colby. I expected a banger, but , if I'm being honest, this track was a bit of a let down. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad. It wasn't a bad diss at all, but it really wasn't the career-ending monster track that Unk spent 20 minutes hyping it up to be in the ALAM episode I linked in the intro. First of all, the beat is unappealing. The violin part is too loud (and also sounds out of sync), the fact that the bass drops on the third word as opposed to the first word is frustrating. There is a rhythm to it, but it's hard to time. This isn't a beat you can bob your head to, is what I'm getting at. The title of this song is odd. It's a nice way of playing into Unk referring to Colby as "Ferret", but I feel like there were better ways of making the joke. Dropping the "the" and keeping as just "Extermination" would've been better, or, given how there's a drawing of a dude in a gas mask in the video, maybe call it "The Exterminator". That would've given Unk a couple more creativity points from me. The lyrics are very hit or miss with me. The hook was unnecessary, full stop. Grammatical errors (i.e. saying "any more" instead of "anything more), unintentionally hilarious backup adlibs (so true, ya), and then he says he has better things to do than to battle Colby. If that's true, then why make a three-and-a-half-minute long song dedicated solely to battling Colby? I've never understood the "I don't have time for this" angle in diss tracks, but that's more of a personal gripe. Unk is riding the "You won a hat, why are you hating?" plot element pretty hard in this song, making references to it three times (five, if you count the repeating hooks). I'm fine with it being mentioned in the hook, since it's the most effective usage of it as a way to degrade Colby, but it feels like you're stretching it when you repeat it say it more than twice. The lyrics also feature some logical inconsistencies. For example: Unk says he never watched the "Emperor Penguin" video, but then he goes on to describe things Colby does in said video. Make up your mind, Adams! A couple lines here and there felt like filler, but, for the most part, Unk does a pretty good job of keeping to the point. And I found myself enjoying a handful of the disses. "Your idol is about to leave you bodied" was good, and I liked that the beat dropped to add more weight to the punch. The amount of Mormon jokes was a bit much, but "You attend church, you should know about crosses" was great. "How can I end a career that doesn't exist" was funny, as was the follow-up line (talking about caging Colby and throwing him off a bridge). "Thank me, I'm the reason why anyone knows you" is the only good line in the whole third verse. So, yeah, there were lines out of here that I enjoyed. And I'll give Unk this, too: His flow was nice. How too quick, not too slow, no crazy switches anywhere. Just a nice, laid back, "Lemme tell it to you how it is" type of flow. His voice sounded pretty good meshed with the beat, which is the only positive remarks I have about the instrumental. This wasn't a bad track at all, it's just that the negatives outweigh the positives. If this was supposed to be a huge, reputation-destroying, "Hit 'Em Up" level track, Unk, it really wasn't. This ain't it, chief. 5.5/10. Also, side note, but have you noticed how similiar Colby's voice sounds to Unk's? Seriously, watch any of Colby's newer music videos and close your eyes. Try not picturing Unk when you hear Colby's voice. That doesn't have anything to do with the songs, I just thought I should point it out.
Another rap beef in the books. Colby Ferrin vs Unkle Adams, the match of the millenia. It's no surprise that I thought Colby had the better song, but there's more to determining who wins a battle than that. By my count, let's tally up all of the hardest-hitting lines from both tracks: "Emperor Penguin" had 13, and "The Extermination" had 12. Two of those came from the hook, so I didn't count them multiple times. It's in a hook, so it wouldn't be fair to count all the repeats. Because of this, Colby is leading by one point. Personally speaking, I felt like Colby's track was the better of the two. The beat was better, the vibe was better, the lyrics were better, the production was better. Colby surprised me with how good his song was. Unk put up a good fight, but I feel like he fell short. Whether or not this beef goes any further is up to time, but, as it stands, I'm casting my vote to Colby Ferrin. If more songs are dropped, I'll edit this blog to include them and change my vote accordingly. I really don't see that happening, though.
